


Can’t keep doing this

by spn_destiel_enthusiast



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Deacas, Deacas fic, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean x Cas - Freeform, Dean x Castiel - Freeform, DeanCas Happy Ending, Deancas angst, Deancas drabble, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Angst, Destiel Fanfic, Destiel happy ending, M/M, Sam Winchester - Freeform, castiel novak - Freeform, destiel drabble, destiel fanfiction, otp: I love you, otp: I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition, otp: I’m your huckleberry, otp: a more profound bond, otp: profound bond - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 18:29:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13417092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn_destiel_enthusiast/pseuds/spn_destiel_enthusiast
Summary: Destiel fic.Dean is getting tired of sneaking around so he ends things. But results in a happy endingLittle angsty, but who doesn’t like a little angst?





	Can’t keep doing this

If there was one thing dean knew, he knew this was completely _wrong_. The sneaking around, the lying to his brother, everything.

If this was just a one-time thing, it would be different. But it’s at least three to four times a week. When Dean and Cas need or want time to themselves, Cas always makes up an excuse on having to do things for the angels and leaves.

And about twenty minutes later Dean always makes an excuse saying he needs to run to the store for something and Sam buys it every single time.  
So, here they are for the third time this week, in the same hotel and room they always meet up at. They used to sneak around in the bunker, but when Sam almost caught Dean with Cas’s dick in his mouth, they knew it was a good idea to start going to a hotel.

Cas tried to talk Dean into waiting til Sam would go to bed, but there would be times Sam wouldn’t go to bed until late. And when Dean wanted to fuck the shit out of Cas there was no waiting.

Dean almost fucked Cas on the library table, right in front of Sam when they were all working on a case a few weeks ago. Cas doesn’t think just chewing on a pencil or pen makes him hard as a rock, but oh boy it does.

Just thinking back to that time is making Dean hard this very second. He knows him, and Cas just fucked themselves senseless a little over a half hour ago, but he could seriously go again. But he knew it couldn’t happen anymore. The guilt was too much.

Tonight, he had to end things with Cas.

Dean is sitting up on the ratty old bed, back against the headboard, itchy green hotel blanket around his legs, and Cas’s head in his lap, and Cas’s long muscular arms wrapped around Deans legs.

Dean never realized how defined Castiel’s body is. His arms are huge and look like they could crush someone, but he holds dean so gently and soft. ~~_Dean loves running his hands down Cas’s chest and stomach feeling his muscles tighten as Cas pounds his cock into dean._~~

Dean shakes his head, pulling himself out of his thoughts and looks down at Cas. Cas looks so peaceful and spent from their previous extortions. Dean didn’t have the heart to wake him, not that Cas was really sleeping, but he had to get this off his chest.

Dean ran his hand down Cas’s bare, sweaty back. Cas stirred under Deans touch, and wrapped his arms around Deans legs even tighter.

“Cas.” Dean whispers running his fingers through Cas’s hair now.

“Mmmff.” Cas mumbles burying his face in Deans legs.

“Cas, buddy, wake up.” Dean coaches.  
Cas lifts his head and blinks his eyes,

“Dean? Why are you up? Come back to bed.” He says trying to tug dean down with him.

Dean’s heart tugs at Cas’s words and he wants nothing more then to crawl back under the covers and wrap Cas up in his arms. But he shakes his head, “I can’t.”  
Cas sits up at this point now and wraps the blanket around his waist, “Dean, what’s wrong?”

Dean takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. This next part was going to kill him. “Cas, I, I’m, I’m ending this now. I’m ending this before it goes too far.”

Cas’s eyes widen, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. Every time Cas goes to speak he closes his mouth locks and unlocks his jaw a few times, fining a loss for words. And before Dean can say anything else, Cas’s lower lip quivers and tears start running down his face.

Dean throws the blanket off and gets out of bed. He grabs his boxers that were flung onto the floor earlier and pulls them on.

“Dean.” Cas whispers from behind him.

Dean ignores Cas and grabs his jeans, he pulls them on and buttons them.

“DEAN.” Cas says more forcefully.

Dean stops searching for his T-shirt and waits for Cas to go on.

“Please look at me. Please.” Cas pleads, tears running down his face.

Dean closes his eyes and clenches his fists, but he turns around anyways. When Deans eyes land on Castiel’s, the crystal-clear blues were gone. Now they were a full blue and full of tears. It was ripping Dean apart.

“Why are you ending this?” Cas asks crawling over to the edge of the bed.

Dean takes a minute before he answers, “Because we can’t keep doing this Cas! The sneaking around, lying to Sammy. I can’t keep doing it.”

Cas wipes the tears off his face and stands up, buck ass naked, “Last time I recalled having this same discussion, YOU told me that YOU didn’t want Sam to know. YOU didn’t want anyone to know. So how is it MY fault?” He yells.

Dean knew Cas was right, it was his fault, “Yeah, well now we don’t have to worry about anyone knowing, because we’re done. Goodbye Castiel.” Dean says and picks up his shirt in the corner of the room and throws it on and grabs his boots and exits the room by slamming the door.

Castiel jumps at Dean slamming the door and falls back onto the bed, crying himself somewhat to sleep.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
When Dean gets home, he’s so angry that when he slams the door, it rattles. He shrugs and walks down the steps to the library.

Sam comes into the library and looks at Dean with a concerned look on his face, “Dean? Are you alright?”

Dean shrugs off his jacket, balls it up, and throws it onto the chair, “Peachy.” He says bending down to untie his boots.

“You wanna talk about it?” Sam asks taking a seat in a chair.

“No, Sam, I really don’t.” Dean says stepping out of his boots and kicking them against the wall.

“Did something happen with Castiel?” Sam asks.

Dean looks Sam in the eyes and plasters on one of his fake smiles, “No Sam, everything is fine.”

Sam nods, not completely convinced dean is telling the truth and sits back against the chair.

Sam just wishes Dean would admit that all his late nights out and all his excuses saying he had to go to the store for something and actually never come home with anything was all an excuse to go see Cas.

Dean is angry and upset, not at Cas, but at himself. He either needs to punch something or get shit faced. He goes with the latter.

Dean heads to the kitchen, “You want a beer?” He calls to Sam.

“No, I’m good.” He calls back.

Dean shrugs and opens the fridge door and pulls out a bottle of beer. He pops the top off and takes a long swig.

He leans against the counter and thinks back to a few hours ago. Everything was perfect, Cas was perfect, the sex was perfect. But dean, he couldn’t get out of his head how wrong it was. Not Cas, or the sex. But the sneaking around.

Dean downs the rest of his beer and pulls out another one, finishing that in under two minutes.

Dean finishes his tenth beer and he’s finally numb. He’s sitting on the ground when Sam walks in the kitchen.

“Sammy! Bout time you joined the party!” Dean says popping the top off another beer and tipping it back.

Sam takes in the empty beer bottles and snatches the half full one out of Deans hand, “Okay, you had enough. Let’s get you to bed.” He says bending down and helping dean up.

“I’m not tired Sammy. The party’s just getting started.” He says, letting Sam pull him up off the ground.

“No, I think the party just ended Dean. Come on, let’s go.” Sam says pulling Dean upright and exiting the kitchen.

They make their way down the hall, Sam silently praying not to drop Dean before he makes to Deans room.

Sam is relieved when he sees dean’s door is open and walks Dean straight over to his bed. Sam gently places Dean and on the bed and goes to leave when Dean grabs Sam’s arm.

“I love him Sammy. I love him so much. And I ruined it.” Dean mumbles.

“Who? How?” Sam asks. But all Sam gets in response is dean snoring.

Sam rolls his eyes and takes Deans hand off his arm and exits his bedroom.  
Sam heads to his room and his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out and see that Cas is calling him.

“Hey Castiel. Everything okay?” Sam asks.

There sniffling on the other end, _“Did, did Dean make it back?”_ He asks.

  
Sam sits down on his bed, “Uh yeah, he’s sleeping. He came home pretty pissed off.”

Castiel sighs, _“I’m just glad he made it home alright.”_

“Cas? Uhm, did something happen?” Sam asks hoping Cas will tell him what’s going on.

It’s silent on Cas’s end and Sam goes to say something when Cas speaks up. 

_“Yeah, but I don’t understand what happened. Everything was going fine and then Dean freaked out and left.”_ Castiel says in one breath.

Sam nods, “Yeah, he came home pissed off, I asked him if he wanted to talk about and he told me no. Then he headed in the kitchen for a beer and I thought he went to his room after that. Well I went in the kitchen and he drank almost a whole case of beer. So, I cut him off and put him to bed.”

_“Sam, I really don’t know what happened.”_ Cas sighs.

Sam sits back against the wall, “Cas, do you want to talk about it?”

Castiel is quite for a minute, _“No, I promised Dean I wouldn’t say anything unless he told me it was okay.”_

Sam silently curses Castiel for being so loyal to Dean, but understands where he’s coming from. “Okay, if you need anything call me. See you in the morning?”

_“I don’t know Sam. Maybe. Goodnight.”_ Cas says hanging up.

Sam sighs and puts his phone on his night stand. He whips his shirt off and gets under the covers and shuts his light off, falling asleep almost instantly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning Dean wakes up with his head pounding. He opens his eyes and the room spins a little.

When the room stops spinning he sits up slowly and takes in his surroundings. He’s in his room, he doesn’t remember coming into his room last night, and figured Sam helped him.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees thirty missed calls and fifteen plus text messages from Cas.

Dean groans and puts his phone face down on his night stand. He gets up and makes his way towards the kitchen.  
When he enters the kitchen, he heads straight for the coffee pot and pours himself a cup of coffee.

He doesn’t bother adding cream and sugar, instead he takes a big sip of the warm, bitter liquid.

“How’s your head?” Sam asks from behind him.

Dean turns around and leans against the counter, “Feels like a jackhammer his hammer my skull.” He says taking another sip.

“Well you did drink a whole case of beer.” Sam says taking a seat at the table.

Dean comes over and takes a seat as well, “I don’t remember drinking that much. Thanks for helping me to bed.”

Sam nods, “Hey, uhm, so Castiel called me real early this morning.”

Dean stops drinking his coffee, “Okay, and?” He asks.

“So, what happened?” Sam asks.

Dean sighs, “What did he tell you?”

Sam shakes his head, “Nothing, I swear. But he seemed pretty upset.”

Dean takes another sip of his coffee and thinks about what he’s going to say. Dean clears his throat, “Cas and I have been sneaking around. And I ended things.” He confesses.

Sam’s eyes about bug out of his head, “Jody owes me thirty bucks. But why?  
Why did you end things?” He asks confused.

“You and Jody bet on me and Cas hooking up? Really Sam?” He’s annoyed at this point.

Sam puts his hands up, “Hey, don’t stray away from the question. Why did you end things?”

Dean rubs his eyes, “Because I didn’t like lying to you. But I also couldn’t tell you that I was seeing Cas.” He answers honestly.

Sam smacks the table, “Hey, don’t you ever think you can’t tell me anything, because you can. You know I’m the one person who won’t judge you Dean. If Cas makes you happy, why wouldn’t you just tell me?” He asks a little hurt.

Dean shrugs, “I didn’t know how you would react, or what you would do.”  
Sam crosses his arms, “Dean, I’m not dad. I don’t care if you date a woman, a man, whatever. If you’re happy, I’m happy. You’re my brother.”

Dean nods, “I know, I know. I was happy.” He says softly, swishing his coffee around in his mug.

“Then why end it? It just doesn’t make sense to me.” Sam says confused.

Dean shrugs, “I don’t know. All I know is I made a mistake. I’m going to shower and change and then go find Cas.” He says getting up and heading to his room.

Sam smiles and pulls out his phone to text Jody, telling her she owes him thirty bucks.

When Dean enters his room, Cas is sitting on his bed. Hair a mess, shirt buttoned unevenly, eyes bloodshot.

Dean stops dead in his tracks, “Cas?”

Cas looks up and gives dean and small smile, “Hello Dean.”

Dean runs and tackles Cas to the bed. “I am so sorry Cas. So sorry.” Dean says.

Cas wraps his arms around Dean and buries his face in his neck.

“I’m so stupid. So, so stupid. Cas, I love you.” Dean says.

Cas pulls back and looks Dean in the eyes, “You’re not stupid Dean. But I love you too.”

Dean smiles and kisses Cas soft and slow. They stay there for a while wrapped up in each other’s arms trading soft kisses.

A few hours later Dean and Cas joins Sam for dinner and tells him that they are together and in love.

Sam is thrilled for both of them and offer to take them out for dinner and buy them a drink.

Dean is just happy that he and Cas can finally be together without having to sneak around and lie to Sam.


End file.
